May 9, 2016

Morbidly Legal

Like Supergirl and The Flash, this week's episode was a crossover event in the land of WSAR Talk Radio. My esteemed guest was Attorney Steven P. Sabra of Sabra & Aspen in Somerset, MA. He is one of only 2 lawyers in Southeastern Massachusetts to be named one of the state's "Most Powerful Attorneys" in Massachusetts Lawyer's Weekly's article, The Power List. Since 1999 he has been the host of Law Talk, here on WSAR and on March 15th, I was honored to be his first guest. This week, he returned the favor.

Before getting into all things morbidly legal, Steven and I shared an enlightening discussion about how similar our professions are. At the center of it all, both professions require compassion, integrity, service and the commitment to building relationships and instilling trust. Judging by how easily we were able to converse and how much knowledge was shared, my verdict is in: I've found my lawyer, should I need one (knock on wood).

CLICK HERE to listen to the podcast, dated 03/05/2016

We spent the hour covering the complexities and necessities of having a last will and testament, and more importantly, the timing in which it is executed. This very timeline gets misunderstood by many families on both sides of our professions. Also covered was the differences and advantages of both the health care proxy and power of attorney.

For more information, please feel free to visit the Sabra & Aspen website and tune in every Tuesday from 1:00-2:00pm for Law Talk. Click Here for Law Talk's podcast page - you'll find my appearance on the show dated 3/15/2016. That conversation swayed slightly more morbid than legal, but informative just the same!

The Silva Lining is thankful for our wonderful sponsor, St. Anthony of Padua Credit Union. We are proud to be sponsored by such an incredible bank, that in an age of conglomerate banks treating people like numbers, maintains a relationship with its members based on trust, friendly service and loyalty. With competitive rates for savings accounts and various loans, St. Anthony of Padua can handle all of your financial needs. Convenient online banking and more information at www.stanthonyofpaduafcu.com

May 3, 2016

Grief Into Action: Nelly Strong Foundation, Inc.

by Amy L. Silva Rigtrup

Just five months after Nelly Eaton left this world, her parents, surrounded by an incredibly supportive circle of friends and family have formed the Nelly Strong Foundation, Inc. 501(c)3. The Foundation's mission is: Maintaining a positive attitude for life while offering different alternatives to maintain a quality of life.

Fueled by Nelly's vivacious, courageous and caring spirit, along with her own wishes written in her journal before she died, the Foundation vows to carry out her bucket list and more, with events planned to raise awareness and education about alternative treatments, provide treatments to those that need them and multiple efforts to give back to the community - essentially bringing our community back together for years to come.

I was joined on this week's episode by Nelly's mom, Laura Eaton, who serves as President of the board and Jeffrey Swagger, Chairman of the board and owner of Phoenix Marketing in Fall River. This newly formed foundation has so many exciting things planned! I will list upcoming events below, but please listen to the podcast for the full conversation with Laura and Jeff about how the Foundation was formed and some great discussion about the benefits of Cannabis Oil (CBD)

CLICK HERE to listen to the podcast, dated 4/28/2016

To learn more about Nelly's story, CLICK HERE to read and listen to my first interview with Laura and her husband Josh, back in December.

Tomorrow kicks off the Foundation's first annual Project Princess - an initiative inspired by Nelly's love for the excitement surrounding prom (this year would have been her senior year) and her "fashionista" status. Thanks to the donations from the community and local businesses like Gilda's Bridal and Party Dress Express, over 300 prom dresses will be given to local high school seniors for this year's prom. Fall River's Rob Roy Academy Hair and Beauty School is joining the cause and will be providing beautiful prom hairstyling at very low prices for the participants and one lucky girl will be fully sponsored.

May 14th Team Nelly will be taking part in Fall River's City-wide Clean-Up, focusing on Maplewood Park Area. Anyone interested in joining can meet at the Government Center at 8:30AM. Feel free to wear Nelly gear if you have it or rock her colors, yellow and purple. Either way, you will easily be able to find Team Nelly!

On June 25th there will be a Wiffle Ball Tournament at Jerry Remy's Green Monster

Mayor Jasiel F. Correia will be declaring a day in July to be Nelly Day! On this day, the Nelly Strong Foundation hopes to hold numerous fundraisers and events throughout the city. The most exciting of which is that they plan to break the Guiness Book World Record for Mass Participation Crowd of Angels. Right now, the record to beat is 1,049 people and the plan is to gather everyone dressed as angels in front of our city's iconic St. Anne's Church. We got this, Fall River!!

Also planned for July is a softball tournament for the 23rd-24th and we at Silva-Faria Funeral Homes will be holding an outdoor Vendor Fair and Silent Auction Fundraiser for the Nelly Strong Foundation on July 23rd. Interested vendors and donors for the auction can contact me at amy@thesilvalining.org

I will keep you updated here on any events as they happen as well as the launch of the Foundation's website. There will also be a Savers Donation Drive happening soon, so as you all start that spring cleaning, put some stuff aside for a good cause and I'll keep you posted when that will take place. If you are on facebook, here is the Pray For Nelly official page for updates from the Foundation directly. They are also on twitter @teamnellystrong

Nelly is smiling down for sure, knowing how much love, support and energy is coming together, making so many wonderful things happen.

April 21, 2016

Three Dapper Directors

by Amy L. Silva Rigtrup

On this week’s episode of The Silva Lining, I held my second Funeral Director Round Table. I’ve never met a funeral director that I wasn’t intrigued and inspired by. Those of us called to this profession are truly some of the most genuine, unique, compassionate and people on the planet. Being in the profession myself, I get to meet my fellow colleagues on multiple occasions. With this show, podcast and blog, I’d love to share with you some incredible funeral directors - hoping to inspire you as well. Get to know your local funeral directors. Everything meaningful in life centers around relationships. Why not take the time to build that relationship well before you need to?

My guests on this panel were Jeffrey Bernardo, J.J. Duffy Funeral Home, Cumberland, RI; Andrew Correia, Cranston-Murphy Funeral Home of Wickford, RI and J.H. Williams & Co. Funeral Home, East Providence, RI; and Larry Quintal, Silva Funeral Home, Taunton, MA - (this beautiful funeral home is run by my cousins, a branch of the family that also dates back to my great great grandfather, Mariano J. Silva)

CLICK HERE to listen to the podcast dated 4/14/2016

Now, on to the dapper…

I had to use that term in the title for many reasons, besides the obvious fact that these three suited gentlemen were a very handsome lot (and I’m still kicking myself for forgetting to take a picture). Something was mentioned during the show and also in the first Round Table - a theme if you will - about the evolving role and perception of the funeral director. The visual I had in the studio joined by these three dapper men brought it all together for me. We are not your grand daddy’s undertaker and the suit says it all. Instead of an essence of The Addams Family, these three dapper men exuded a vibe in the studio more akin to Ocean’s Eleven. The funeral directors of today, men and women alike, suited up, represent integrity, sincerity, pride and service, not the old stereotype of morbid silent and macabre.

We had a lively conversation about our thoughts on this changing industry, achieving work/life balance, and my favorite - sharing the different reasons they were each “called” into the profession.

So don’t be shy, if you find yourself in a social gathering with a funeral director, say hello! You’ll be glad you did. There might be some incredible conversation, questions answered and a relationship started that might become the foundation of a very meaningful bond that will guide you through a difficult time in the gentlest way possible.

Upcoming episodes:

April 28th - Laura Eaton, President of the newly formed Nelly Strong Foundation, Inc. will be discussing all of the incredible events coming our way to bring this community together while providing natural and alternative remedies for those in need.

May 5th - I'll get Morbidly Legal with Atty. Steven Sabra

The Silva Lining would like to thank our wonderful sponsor,

St. Anthony of Padua Credit Union - We are proud to be sponsored by such an incredible bank, that in an age of conglomerate banks treating people like numbers, maintains a relationship with its members based on trust, friendly service and loyalty. With competitive rates for savings accounts and various loans, St. Anthony of Padua can handle all of your financial needs. Convenient online banking and more information at www.stanthonyofpaduafcu.com

April 8, 2016

Enhancing Love and Transforming Grief with SARK

by Amy L. Silva Rigtrup

The important relationship between love and grief has come up many times on The Silva Lining. Without love, we would not grieve as profoundly as we do, and without grief, we would not love as strongly as we do – because we all know that our time on this earth is limited. My incredible guest on this week's episode of The Silva Lining is an author who has joined me to discuss two books she has written about grief and love.

SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy) is a best-selling author and artist, with sixteen titles in print and well over two million books sold. She is here today to discuss her two most recent books; Succulent Wild Love, which she co-authored with the late Dr. John Waddell and Glad No Matter What: Transforming Loss and Change into Gift and Opportunity. She is also the founder and Creative Fountain of Planet SARK, a thriving business that creates innovative products and services to support empowered living. SARK lives and creates gladly in San Francisco, CA.

I started reading SARK's books when I was 19 years old and can honestly say that she, through her words and art, is truly an integral part of who I am as a self-acclaimed Succulent Wild Woman, wife, mother, creative spirit and funeral director. Everything came full circle when I discovered that she had written Glad No Matter What. After literally inhaling it in two days, I took a chance and sent her a message. I asked, she answered, and here we are.

CLICK HERE to listen to the podcast, dated 4/7/16

Most books I've read about grief were like road maps. What SARK has done with Glad No Matter What, is created a 3D Guide Map. Sure there are roads and signs with paths and directions, but there are also boundless opportunities to change the roads, meander off of them, carve out paths, roll down hills, conquer mountains, discover cozy caverns and build bridges. She understands grief and more importantly, the benefits that can come from feeling the feelings, embracing self-care, listening to your Inner Wise Self and allowing your soul to become open to the gifts and opportunities that can come from loss - whatever they may be.

One of my favorite quotes from the book is, "I know now that this healing happens in spirals and layers and not in steps like a ladder."

Too often, we find ourselves "expected" to heal, get over or find closure in grief within a certain time frame and by an assumed set of steps. Like the anonymous old man's "shipwreck" analogy, (referenced one of my prior posts), grief is always with you. It's force, presence and influence may alter and shift, but usually without warning. The transformative work provided in SARK's book does not remove, diminish, replace or avoid the grief - in fact, the book has you bring the grief in and essentially place it lovingly on your lap where it can be seen, felt and acknowledged.

The other important element I want to note is that SARK also valiantly points out and includes grief and loss in all forms - life changes, breakups/divorce, pet loss as well as human and more. There are so many events or circumstances that can lead to grief and loss that aren't normally talked about or accepted in society. For instance, as a mother, I profoundly grieved the end of breastfeeding my youngest child - though I didn't realize what I was feeling at the time because "grief" wasn't something I ever associated with anything other than death before.

Are we ready for love? SARK and John certainly were, and lucky for us all, they shared their wisdom.

Together, Sark and Dr. John wrote Succulent Wild Love - a weaved tapestry of core teachings from each of their lives and past love experiences to center the book around The Six Powerful Habits of People in Succulent Wild Relationships:

They listen to their relationship mentor inside them - their Inner Wise Self, Higher Self, Holy Spirit - and take action.
They use their feelings both as a guide to know when the relationship is off track and to constructively evoke cooperation from others.
They recognize inner critics and other negative dialogue in their head and don't put this criticism on their partner - or themselves.
They respect their own and their partner's boundaries.
They create "Joyfull Solutions" where no one needs to compromise or sacrifice.
They practice seeing the perfection in their partner and all the other people they're in relationships with.

This book resonated with me as a completely customizable guide to achieving unconditional love in any type of relationship(s) that are most significant in your life. "We all want to give and receive love without reservation, but few of us have learned how to do this on a consistent basis," write SARK and Dr. John. Regardless of spouse, partner, close friend, family member, these habits practiced can add foundation and meaningfulness to any relationships that are significant, but maybe weren't functioning at full love capacity. In my career, NOT doing relationship work like this on important relationships are some of the biggest regrets I see impacting grief. We are blessed with the core people in our lives - why not make the most out of our love?

On the day after submitting this book to the publisher, John was diagnosed with non-operable stage IV colon cancer. Having found Great Love and then ushered in front of Impending Grief within three short years, SARK and John turned to each other, and allowed the Six Powerful Habits they had just shared with the world to further strengthen their love. They even continued sharing throughout his treatments, on planetsark.com and with interviews. I urge you to listen to this podcast on Inspire Nation with host, Michael Sandler. It is such a joy to hear them talk about when they first met! Plus, you will hear John's explanation of his mindset with his cancer - as only he can explain it. What I will reiterate is that he expressed his belief that he would "come out of cancer whole"

Dr. John Waddell passed away in SARK's loving arms just one month ago. The fact that she is still able to be a beacon of light, radiating her energy and sharing her experiences in the midst of her grief is a testament to me of the love that was - and will always be - shared between her and John. Their individual whole-ness made them ready to find and love each other. Their Succulent Union allowed them each to remain whole by not having to sacrifice any part of themselves. This maintained whole-ness fueled the love even more. Of course SARK is still being a beacon - she's overflowing with love and John wouldn't have it any other way. Right now, in my heart of hearts, I know that wherever John is, he is indeed whole and dancing.

Please visit PlanetSARK.com for amazing resources, information and inspiration.

Call the Inspiration Line anytime at (415) 546-3742 **I have it on speed dial - always lifts my spirits!**

Upcoming episodes:

April 14th - Funeral Director's Round Table #2: My guests will be three amazing male funeral directors - I'll be outnumbered this time!!

April 28th - Laura Eaton, President of the newly formed Nelly Strong Foundation, Inc. will be discussing all of the incredible events coming our way to bring this community together while providing natural and alternative remedies for those in need.

May 5th - I'll get Morbidly Legal with Atty. Steven Sabra

Tickets are still available for Havens Healing Hands Comedy Night Fundraiser. Please consider attending or donating to this worthy cause - 100% of proceeds helping provide Vitamin C IV Treatments to those with pediatric cancer. Anyone interested in donating items for the raffle, please message me. https://www.facebook.com/events/181381172236601/

The Silva Lining would like to thank our wonderful sponsor,