When The Tidal Waves Come...

by Amy L. Silva Rigtrup


Today on The Silva Lining, I was joined by Reverend Cheryl Rieder, Pastor at the Congregational Christian Church of Somerset. With her years in hospice and bereavement counseling before receiving her calling, Cheryl has an amazing gift when it comes to grief. You can hear the proof in the podcast by how emotional I got after hearing her beautiful metaphor about grief being like standing at the shore of the ocean.

She is currently holding a grief support group that meets every Wednesday from 6-7:30pm at the Congregational Christian Church of Somerset at 1411 County Street. "This grief support group is offered and open to all of the community (ages 18 and older). If you have lost a loved one recently or maybe even a while ago, and you are struggling to cope, we are here to help you on your journey. You are welcome to attend one or all of the groups, the only requirement is that the group remains a confidential & safe sharing environment." No registration required.

Contact Rev. Cheryl at uccsomersetchurch@gmail.com or call (508) 672-6623

We talked about all of the different ways that people can express their feelings and emotions while grieving; writing/journaling, physical expressions like hammering a nail and exercise, art, music. Cheryl brought up the Buddhist Mandalas as an artistic and very symbolic mode of expression. I found a wonderful post on the blog, Creativity for the Soul, that shares an example of someone's use of mandalas as they journey through the loss of a child. CLICK HERE to read it.

Reverend Cheryl, when asked about grieving and pets, shared a beautiful quote, "If it breathes, it grieves". Not only is the grief over the loss of a pet real but also is the grief animals themselves feel, whether losing an owner or fellow pet. Their capacity for grief is as powerful and significant as their capacity to comfort. She brought up a poem called the Rainbow Bridge which I will share with you here.

There is a bridge connecting Heaven and Earth. 
It is called the Rainbow Bridge because of all its beautiful colors.  
Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge there is a land of meadows,  
hills and valleys with lush green grass.  
When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this place.  
There is always food and water and warm spring weather.  
The old and frail animals are young again.  
Those who were sick, hurt or in pain are made whole again.  
There is only one thing missing,  
they are not with their special person who loved them so much on earth.  
So each day they run and play until the day comes  
when one suddenly stops playing and looks up!  
The nose twitches! The ears are up!  
The eyes are staring and this one runs from the group!  
You have been seen and when you and your special friend meet,  
you take him in your arms and hug him.  
He licks and kisses your face again and again -  
and you look once more into the eyes of your best friend and trusting 
pet.  
Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together never again to be apart.


The Silva Lining is thankful for our wonderful sponsors:

St. Anthony of Padua Credit Union - We are proud to be sponsored by such an incredible bank, that in an age of conglomerate banks treating people like numbers, maintains a relationship with its members based on trust, friendly service and loyalty. With competitive rates for savings accounts and various loans, St. Anthony of Padua can handle all of your financial needs. Convenient online banking and more information at www.stanthonyofpaduafcu.com

White's of Westport - Expert and personal service for all of your event/catering needs - from funeral repasts to weddings and parties, White's will handle every detail. Their newly renovated Galley Grille provides live music on the weekends - click here for menu and events. Don't miss the Paul McCartney & Wings Tribute Band coming to White's on July 31st click here for tickets and more info!  whitesofwestport.com



Honorable Mention

by Amy L. Silva Rigtrup


This week on The Silva Lining I was honored - literally - to have my grandfather, Hon. Milton R. Silva as my guest. Amazingly sharp as he approaches his 92nd birthday, Papa shared stories about his childhood, the changes he's witnessed in the funeral business and thoughts about his incredibly full life.

He had a very early start in the funeral business - back when embalming, wakes and services were all held in the family home. A World War II Veteran of the U.S. Army, with the 120th Evactuation Unit, he was among the first to discover the horrors of the Nazi concentration camp, Buchenwald. Upon returning home, many elements of the funeral business triggered horrible memories and feelings, so he aspired towards a career in law while maintaining the funeral home and raising a large family of 5 children. 

Papa went on to become a successful lawyer, police commissioner, Massachusetts House Representative and a Fall River District Court Judge known by many as "Not Guilty Milty". Throughout all of his achievements, he was a devoted husband, incredible father, doting grandfather (and great grandfather) and found the time to harness his musical talents as a saxophone/clarinet player in many bands. 

I invite you to listen to the podcast, as there is nobody better than Papa himself at telling his stories.

I may be slightly biased here, but I immensely admire my grandfather and feel so fortunate to have him in my life. There aren't many judges out there that are loved by so many people - I've even met people that have received the rare "guilty" verdict and STILL love and respect him. It all comes as a product of his humble, honest, humorous and noble character. 

Papa, for everyone that has ever known you, the honor is ours.


The Silva Lining is thankful for our wonderful sponsors:

St. Anthony of Padua Credit Union - We are proud to be sponsored by such an incredible bank, that in an age of conglomerate banks treating people like numbers, maintains a relationship with its members based on trust, friendly service and loyalty. With competitive rates for savings accounts and various loans, St. Anthony of Padua can handle all of your financial needs. Convenient online banking and more information at www.stanthonyofpaduafcu.com

White's of Westport - Expert and personal service for all of your event/catering needs - from funeral repasts to weddings and parties, White's will handle every detail. Their newly renovated Galley Grille provides live music on the weekends - click here for menu and events. Don't miss the Paul McCartney & Wings Tribute Band coming to White's on July 31st click here for tickets and more info!  whitesofwestport.com


Pre-Planning Basics

by Amy L. Silva Rigtrup


There are many benefits to pre-planning a funeral, wether pre-funded or not, but the most important benefit is relieving the stress on your loved ones when they are faced with arranging your funeral. Knowing your wishes are expressed and written out, along with the funeral director already having all of your vital information, is a huge part of the burden that's removed and financially planning for the funeral goes even further to eliminate the burden altogether.

Most funeral homes, including ours, will not charge or require obligation for meeting with us to discuss pre-planning a funeral. Starting the conversation with your funeral director is key to discovering the broad scope of your situations and figuring out the best solution for your needs and wishes. It never hurts to mention that it may be more convenient for you if the funeral director could possibly meet with you off-site, like in your home, a nursing care facility, etc. With the help of technology, funeral directors can present you with all of the needed materials that a pre-arranged funeral would require.

At no cost, you always have the option of discussing and expressing your wishes for the funeral director to maintain a record of. If you are interested in pre-funding your funeral, your director will walk you through all of the options available.

Our strongest suggestion to families intending to make pre-arrangements is that they involve and include atlas one member of their family. It is important that your family is on board with your wishes and share understanding about how the pre-arrangement works, as they will be the ones to execute them when the time comes. Every now and then, we come across family members that call us and other funeral homes inquiring about their loved one's plans because they don't know which funeral home they met with.

It is important to know that when pre-funding a funeral, you are not actually paying the funeral for services - because there are no services rendered until the death takes place - rather, you are putting money towards the promise of service in the future. Once an amount is chosen for the intended funeral arrangements, 100% of the money you pre-fund is placed in a "vehicle" (insurance/trust/annuity) where the funds can not be accessed until the entity holding the money receives a death certificate. 

As always, feel free to reach out to me with any questions - I am always available.

Email: amy@thesilvalining.org

Phone: (888) 627-7847

The Silva Lining is thankful for our wonderful sponsor, St. Anthony of Padua Credit Union. We are proud to be sponsored by such an incredible bank, that in an age of conglomerate banks treating people like numbers, maintains a relationship with its members based on trust, friendly service and loyalty. With competitive rates for savings accounts and various loans, St. Anthony of Padua can handle all of your financial needs. Convenient online banking and more information at www.stanthonyofpaduafcu.com


Legally Speaking...

by Amy L. Silva Rigtrup


Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA), Health Care Proxy, Wills, Probate and Estates - the mere thought of these items comes wrought with confusion, red-tape and misconceptions. Today on The Silva Lining, along with my guest, Atty. Martin A. Silva, we aimed to simplify and explain them all. 

At Silva-Faria Funeral Homes, we are fortunate that one of our owners/funeral directors is also a lawyer. Martin's broad knowledge of the entire scope of end-of-life-planning from both sides of his background, make him an invaluable asset to many of the families that we serve.

In terms of planning or "getting affairs in order", DPOA, Health Care Proxy and Wills ensure that your wishes and property are handled as you intend in the instance that you become incompetent or pass away. Everything revolves around competency - putting elements legally in place while still competent is key and the ultimate goal is to make things as simple and easy as possible for your family and loved ones.

Please feel free to comment with questions here on the blog, email me privately at amy@thesilvalining.org or call Silva-Faria Funeral Homes toll free at (888) 627-7847. To reach Atty. Martin A. Silva, his specific legal line is (508) 673-8143


The Silva Lining is thankful for our wonderful sponsor, St. Anthony of Padua Credit Union. We are proud to be sponsored by such an incredible bank, that in an age of conglomerate banks treating people like numbers, maintains a relationship with its members based on trust, friendly service and loyalty. With competitive rates for savings accounts and various loans, St. Anthony of Padua can handle all of your financial needs. Convenient online banking and more information at www.stanthonyofpaduafcu.com