Forever In Glass

In general, consumers may have noticed that certain vendors (caskets, vaults, urns, keepsakes, etc.) refer you to a dealer, usually a funeral home, in order to make a purchase. Funeral homes strive to provide the highest standard of service to the families we serve and take very seriously the fact that families put their trust in us at their time of need. A large percentage of products that we provide are not actually products that we create - instead, we recommend certain vendors. When we recommend a vendor it is because we stand behind their product and service 100%. In essence, the vendors we choose to work with are representatives of our business.

Over the years, I have come across dozens of artists that made glass cremation keepsakes and none of them reached my standard. Then I discovered Forever In Glass, and the quality of product combined with the excellence in service has surpassed even my highest standards.

Today's guest on The Silva Lining was Henry C. Duquette, artist and founder of Forever In Glass, providing families with hand-blown glass cremation keepsakes. His work is astoundingly beautiful, made from optically clear and durable Pyrex glass, created with absolutely ZERO bubbles (a flaw in final product that is very common when incorporating cremains into glass artwork) thanks to Henry's own secret technique. 

He creates pendants, paperweights and sculptures in a dazzling array of vibrant colors and each is finished off with your loved one's name and year of death written in 22 Karat gold on the back of the piece. His keepsakes can even be made with the cremains of a cherished pet and for those who's loved one's weren't cremated, pieces can even incorporate the soil from the grave. He also creates and designs every piece himself, so he is very open to hearing personalized or custom requests.

The process of ordering is simple for the family and Henry takes great detail in securing the identity throughout the two week period until the piece is completed and sent to the family along with any unused cremains. He goes above and beyond by also providing a warranty on his work by repairing any repairable damage that may happen in the future.

He was an absolute pleasure to have on the show. His passion for the meaningful art he creates for families is an inspiration. I was most touched by seeing his sea turtles in person and reading the symbolism behind these beautiful creatures:

"Turtles symbolize longevity, strength, courage, knowledge, security, tenacity, persistence, and innocence.

They are symbols of immortality and are considered temporary dwelling places for souls making their way through a series of lives on their path to heaven.

Their link to heaven and earth made them a natural for use in the link to God."

For more information, please visit Forever In Glass and I myself, would be honored to help you create the meaningful keepsake of your choice. You can reach out to me directly at amy@thesilvalining.org or simply tell Henry that The Silva Lining sent you.

The Silva Lining is thankful for our wonderful sponsor:

St. Anthony of Padua Credit Union - We are proud to be sponsored by such an incredible bank, that in an age of conglomerate banks treating people like numbers, maintains a relationship with its members based on trust, friendly service and loyalty. With competitive rates for savings accounts and various loans, St. Anthony of Padua can handle all of your financial needs. Convenient online banking and more information at www.stanthonyofpaduafcu.com

Sad Sign of The Times

There is an assumption - an expectation, if you will - that surrounding the event of a funeral, there is a heightened level of respect and morality.  We live in a world where there is always someone ready to take advantage of any vulnerability to create scams or steal an identity. The sad truth is that even funerals aren't safe from theft. It's a very hard topic for me to speak about, because in my heart I wish that there wasn't a need to.

But then, someone walked into our funeral home, grabbed donation envelopes from the wake room and walked right out of the building, only to be followed on foot by my employee with the police on his cell phone, giving them information until he was apprehended. 

This incidence made me think back to some other things that have fallen out of practice over the past decades:

• Addresses in Obituaries - It used to be very common for the deceased's address to be listed in the obituary. This helped with recognition and also made it convenient for those in the family's support network to send donations/flowers/food to the home. The vulnerability - which was nationally taken advantage of - was that the families were essentially advertising an address that would be empty during the funeral services, also mentioned in the obituary.
• Repast Information in Obituary - Another old common practice was for the details of where the family would be gathering after the funeral for food/refreshments to be listed in the obituary. This led to many people showing up for free food, regardless of wether or not they knew the deceased or family. This vulnerability also occurred at a period of time when families were less likely to question the presence of people they didn't directly know. 
• Date of Birth in the Obituary - The deceased's date of birth is another item you'll notice mentioned less and less in obituaries, but used to be very common. From a standpoint of protecting the deceased's identity, the DOB is something that shouldn't be given out, especially in an obituary. Obituaries these days are not only in newspapers, but also spread around the internet AND usually includes the Date of Death and Mother's Maiden Name. When these items are combined, this makes a massive vulnerability for identity theft.

With all of these things, the vulnerability was realized and adjustments were made. That in itself is a "sign of the times". We are in an age where the possibilities are endless for loopholes and ways to be stolen from or taken advantage of. Society in general has two choices: To Be Proactive or To Become Paranoid. 

Proactivity is always the best weapon. Know the vulnerabilities and prepare accordingly.

I'm talking today about this to help everyone in the funeral setting, from directors to families and friends, so that together we can be proactive. The people out there taking such horrible advantage of grieving families will no longer think they are "easy targets" if we are proactive and prepared.

At Silva-Faria Funeral Homes, we now have beautiful locked card boxes that will be placed right beside the family, but for those attending services anywhere, here are some guidelines:

• Checks are always better to give to the family or a chosen charity than cash. This way if someone does steal any envelopes, they won't be able to cash them.
• If you have to give cash, present the cash in an envelope or card directly to the hands of a family member in the receiving line.
• Funeral homes are not supposed to give out the family's address. So if there are no funeral services, if the services are private or you simply cannot attend the services, first - refer to the obituary as it will provide information if there is a charity you can donate to directly in the deceased's name, or mail your donation to the family c/o the funeral home and they will forward it to the family on your behalf.

As always, I'm available for any questions or concerns you may have. Feel free to email me directly at amy@thesilvalining.org or comment below. 

Coming up on The Silva Lining, I will be talking about funeral processions, veterans and covering the topic of what to do after the funeral, in regards to organizing and helping empty the deceased's property/apartment and resources for estate sales, etc.

Are there any topics you'd like to hear me talk about?

The Silva Lining is thankful for our wonderful sponsor:

St. Anthony of Padua Credit Union - We are proud to be sponsored by such an incredible bank, that in an age of conglomerate banks treating people like numbers, maintains a relationship with its members based on trust, friendly service and loyalty. With competitive rates for savings accounts and various loans, St. Anthony of Padua can handle all of your financial needs. Convenient online banking and more information at www.stanthonyofpaduafcu.com

A Mustang Without Brakes: Understanding Adolescent Grief

Traveling through "Magical Thinking" during the pre-school years, into the "Concrete Thinking" of the elementary school years, what comes next is adolescence. At this stage, they "think" that they are adults, but don't have the experience, perspective or ability to process like adults. Add to this the power of hormones, situations with education, love, friendships and responsibilities and you can see why it's such a complicated stage of life. Further, throw grief into the mix and you have the equivalent of a Mustang without brakes - unleashing limitless power with no built-in way to stop or control it.

Today on The Silva Lining, I was joined by a dear friend, Dr. Edward Costar. Dr. Costar is a counselor and educator with a PhD in Counseling Psychology who supervised student services and counseling in the Fall River Schools for close to thirty years. Presently, he teaches psychology at UMass Dartmouth with a specialty in Child Development, Abnormal Psychology and Counseling. 

We discussed many aspects of adolescent grief, starting with the developmental stages of grief in early childhood and leading up to adolescence. At the foundation of all the concepts and theories is the knowledge that every person, every child is completely unique in how they process and are affected by grief, influenced by their cognition, social behavior, personality and type of loss. 

Great advice for parents, friends and support systems of a grieving child or adolescent:

* Try not to judge their behavior as being a testament to their level of love for the deceased or as anything abnormal. Keep an open mind. Not often will they be able to explain their actions or understanding to you.

* Listen. When they reach out, be there. Let them talk. 

* Assure them. Be honest if you need to - you won't know how to fix the anguish the are in, make sense of why it's happening or have the perfect things to say. It's okay to admit that and make promises that you can keep; that they will be alright, that they are loved and you will be there for them whenever they need you.

The Silva Lining is thankful for our wonderful sponsor:

St. Anthony of Padua Credit Union - We are proud to be sponsored by such an incredible bank, that in an age of conglomerate banks treating people like numbers, maintains a relationship with its members based on trust, friendly service and loyalty. With competitive rates for savings accounts and various loans, St. Anthony of Padua can handle all of your financial needs. Convenient online banking and more information at www.stanthonyofpaduafcu.com

Why I Love What I Do

This week's episode of The Silva Lining was a pretty open discussion about being a funeral director and I was blessed with some great callers who asked some great questions.  

In a profession highly stereotyped for being morbid, sad and depressing, you hardly get to hear the positive things about being a funeral director. Granted, I do witness a lot of sadness and tragedy, but as with every thing in life - there is always another side.  

There is actually so much about my job that I love! I witness the best of humanity - the heartfelt testimonials of marriages, sometimes as long as 70 years; outpouring gestures of community support for the bereaved; healthy family dynamics filled with strength and character; and amazingly creative personalized tributes. 

A secret that I will share with you... When it comes to my own personal losses - close family, friends, acquaintances - I actually prefer being the funeral director. Not at all to say that funeral directors have an easier time with grief, but our ability to be able to help the people we know and love actually helps us to cope. I honestly feel helpless when I'm not involved with the funeral of a loved one because I'm so used to having an active role. It's hard to put into words the honor I feel when entrusted with the care of someone I know.

Most of all, I am grateful for being in a profession where I am reminded - every single day - about the beauty and unpredictability of life. To slow down and appreciate everyone that I love.

This week I was honored to be named one of the 2015 Outstanding Women of Family Business by the Warren Group and Massachusetts Family Business Magazine. The pride I feel for being part of a business founded in 1890 by my great grandfather is massive. In this world dominated by corporations, it is truly a challenge to maintain a family business and I am grateful for the support provided by the FBA. 

I was joined today in the studio with WSAR's General Sales Manager, Sue Nedar. Sue and I have known each other for a while from our mutual love and involvement in community theatre. She is the reason that The Silva Lining came to be. When I was very pregnant with my third child, she called me with her "crazy" idea that I should talk about funeral related topics on the radio show. Six months into it, I can attest that her idea was not crazy and that I've absolutely come to love doing this show. Thank you Sue. 

The Silva Lining is thankful for our wonderful sponsors:

St. Anthony of Padua Credit Union - We are proud to be sponsored by such an incredible bank, that in an age of conglomerate banks treating people like numbers, maintains a relationship with its members based on trust, friendly service and loyalty. With competitive rates for savings accounts and various loans, St. Anthony of Padua can handle all of your financial needs. Convenient online banking and more information at www.stanthonyofpaduafcu.com

White's of Westport - Expert and personal service for all of your event/catering needs - from funeral repasts to weddings and parties, White's will handle every detail. Their newly renovated Galley Grille provides live music on the weekends - click here for menu and events. Don't miss the Paul McCartney & Wings Tribute Band coming to White's on July 31st click here for tickets and more info!  whitesofwestport.com